Refreshed.

Tonight for the first time in a long time I went to the Navigators college group on campus. It wasn't that I had conflicts going on, it was just that I let studying, or hanging out with friends, have priority over this. I came away convicted, refreshed and encouraged to live a life of radical risks which proves radical faith, which gives radical, lasting joy to the believer.

Personally, I struggle with consistency in my walk with God. Sometimes I seem to catch a fire, and then other times I'm just a smoldering ember, glowing but not giving much light, red but not giving much heat. Sometimes I seem so far away, catching snatches of time with God. Giving Him fragments of my day.

For roughly 16 hours of the day my mind is spinning, but hardly ever rests on His faithfulness. For 16 hours I breathe and walk and think, but do not pause to thank Him for the ability to do so, to thank Him for the life He just bequeathed me with and does from moment to moment. For 16 hours of every day I don't take my head out of my little, insignificant, selfish world long enough to realize that there are hundreds of lost people around me every day, and dozens that I interact with without telling about the mercy and grace I've been given.

Tonight convicted me. Tonight strengthened me. Being with other believers, being exhorted to fight the good fight, to be desperate to see souls saved, that encouraged me. And I ask the Lord, give me that desperation to see those chained in darkness be freed by the same miraculous grace and mercy that You gave me. Let my life be lived out every day so that I honor You, reflecting You. Keep my eyes fixed on You, on eternity. Let this all fade away; all the riches, power, status and empty world-values that are drilled into me every day be garbage in my eyes.

Lord, I thank You that You give even more grace. When I stray far from You, You draw me close to yourself with cords of love.
This verse came to mind...

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak to her heart." (Hosea 2:14, Darby translation)

Lord, I can never thank You enough, that when I fall, Your hand is there to catch me.

"When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong, because the LORD is the one who holds his hand." (Psalm 37:24, NASB)

I may push You out of my life, too wrapped up in my own selfish schedule, thoughts, or goals, but You pull me gently, quietly, tenderly to the wilderness where I can be with You, alone. You speak to my heart, watering the parched, arid desert that I turned it into. Lord, I do not deserve this love. And that is why it is even more precious.